please tell me.

do people actually wear those cracktacular american apparel outfits? and pay their outrageous prices? please.

but.... i don't understand.

There's this commercial for match.com. A handsome black man states that he likes all-American food, like cheeseburgers. He then does an idiotic little dance, complete with yips, whilst they do the match.com spiel. At the end, he bites into a Hostess cupcake and tells us it's good.

What?

east coast.

i miss you.

i'm coming.

6/15 - 7/2

I am so jealous.

I am so jealous of people who seem to have become famous simply for having blogs. I mean my sister just sent me a link to a video on Defamer, and it featured this girl Molly McAleer. All I can find out about her is that she has a blog. And it's a good blog. I mean, on the very first page she knocks someone for using the wrong version of "you're". That's my kind of blog.

And okay, so when I was young I wrote poems and short stories like a fucking fiend. I really thought I might become a writer one day. Then the Prozac kicked in, and now I am too busy to channel my depression into creativity.

But I could still write about my life, right? I mean, I am vaguely interesting and mildly amusing. Perhaps I too could achieve some small-scale fame through my blog. I am over MySpace - I almost can't believe now that I was ever under it - but hell, I still have funny anecdotes to relate! I still have amusing things to vent about! I still have four cats! That last one may or may not be pertinent.

So I am going to try to start blogging at a minimum every other day. Yeah, that's right. Watch out Molly McAleer. I may not have your mad blogging skillz yet, but just you wait. Just you motherfucking wait.

This is the saddest I have felt in a long time.

30's not so good.

O beautiful, for spacious skies...

This would be ONE reason why I don't give a shit if she's female like me, I still ain't voting for her.

i wish i had a best girlfriend here.

sadly, it was watching degrassi the next generation with dahveed that made me so nostalgic.

maybe i'll place a craigslist ad.

Stuff White People Like

So David sent me a link to Stuff White Poeple Like, telling me how true it was.

I have to tell you, I am beginning to doubt my Whititude. Let's have a look...


#1 Coffee
I HATE coffee.

#2 Religions their parents don’t belong to
I am Episcopal. So is my mother. So is my father.

#3 Film Festivals
Meh. I could take it or leave it.

#4 Assists
Uh?

#5 Farmer’s Markets
Yes, it's true. But I just like fresh fruit.

#6 Organic Food
I am sure it's probably better for you, but I don't go out of my way to spend extra money, generally.

#7 Diversity
Yeah, that's a good thing.

#8 Barack Obama
Well, compared to the Hillmonster...

#9 Making you feel bad about not going outside
No, I am lazy.

#10 Wes Anderson Movies
I have seen three and only truly liked one. That should be enough said.

(So, out of the first ten, we have a total of 3.)

#11 Asian Girls
What? As opposed to?

#12 Non-Profit Organizations
Again, no strong feelings.

#13 Tea
Yes, I do.

#14 Having Black Friends
I haven't any. Not by choice.

#15 Yoga
Done it exactly once.

#16 Gifted Children
Who doesn't like gifted children? Is this something other races are against?

#17 Hating their Parents
Love my parents.

#18 Awareness
No, this is a Seattle thing I abhor. Everyone has to have a "cause". Meh.

#19 Traveling
I like traveling, it's true.

#20 Being an expert on YOUR culture
No.

(5/20)

#21 Writers Workshops
No.

#22 Having Two Last Names
No.

#23 Microbreweries
No.

#24 Wine
Yes.

#25 David Sedaris
Yes.

#26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!)
No.

#27 Marathons
No.

#28 Not having a TV
NO.

#29 80s Night
Yes.

#30 Wrigley Field
?

(8/30)

#31 Snowboarding
No.

#32 Vegan/Vegetarianism
Yes.

#33 Marijuana
No.

#34 Architecture
No.

#35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report
No.

#36 Breakfast Places
Yes.

#37 Renovations
No.

#38 Arrested Development
Yes.

#39 Netflix
Yes.

#40 Apple Products
No.

(12/40)

#41 Indie Music
Yes.

#42 Sushi
Yes.

#43 Plays
No.

#44 Public Radio
NO.

#45 Asian Fusion Food
No.

#46 The Sunday New York Times
No.

#47 Arts Degrees
No.

#48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops
No.

#49 Vintage
Yes.

#50 Irony
Yes.

(16/50)

#51 Living by the Water
Yes.

#52 Sarah Silverman
NONONONO!!!!!!!! I loathe her!

#53 Dogs
Yes.

#54 Kitchen Gadgets
Yes.

#55 Apologies
What?

#56 Lawyers
No.

#57 Juno
NOOOOOOOOO.

#58 Japan
???

#59 Natural Medicine
No.

#60 Toyota Prius
No.

(19/60)

#61 Bicycles
No.

#62 Knowing What’s Best for Poor People
No.

#63 Expensive Sandwiches
No.

#64 Recycling
Yes.

#65 Co-Ed Sports
No.

#66 Divorce
No.

#67 Standing Still at Concerts
No.

#68 Michel Gondry
No.

#69 Mos Def
No.

#70 Difficult Breakups
No.

(20/70)

#71 Being the only white person around
No.

#72 Study Abroad
No.

#73 Gentrification
???

#74 Oscar Parties
No.

#75 Threatening to Move to Canada
No.

#76 Bottles of Water
Yes.

#77 Musical Comedy
Some.

#78 Multilingual Children
Yes.

#79 Modern Furniture
No.

#80 The Idea of Soccer
Yes. I'm not going to lie.

#81 Graduate School
Yes.

#82 Hating Corporations
No.

#83 Bad Memories of High School
No.

#84 T-Shirts
Yes, but I like the unacceptable kind. So it doesn't count.

#85 The Wire
Never seen it.

That's a total of 24/85, for a percentage of 28% white.

Obviously I have some learning to do.

Probably the best thing I have ever seen.

Courtesy of my sister.

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/babies/index.htm

oh my GOD scheduling meetings in the bane of my FUCKING existence.

"hi kate. schedule this meeting. coordinate ten people's schedules into one day. and it has to be within the next week. thanks!"

okay, fair enough.

work, work, work - meeting scheduled.

"hi kate. i know i initially told you i was available all week, but it looks as though the day you scheduled the meeting for is actually the only day i'm unavailable. oh, that's the only day everyone else is available? better start ALL OVER then and make it next week."

"oh, and kate? by the way, we won't give you easy access to our schedules. you will have to ask every time for our availability."

fuck. you.

the times they are a-changin'....

never thought i'd have to defend my personal decision to get married BEFORE getting pregnant.

i really was meant to live in another time, apparently.

Merry Christmas from your local ebay asshole.

Dear lovecat713,

PLAN ON PAYING ANYTIME SOON? SO I CAN SHIP THIS?
I AM NOT A WAREHOUSE!


- oasiswizard

-------------------------------------------------

Dear oasiswizard,

I am very sorry. I have been out of town for the holidays and have not had access to email. My mistake. I return home on January 1 and will pay as soon as I am back at my computer.

I hope you had a good Christmas, and Happy New Year to you.


- lovecat713

-------------------------------------------------

Dear lovecat713,

bla. but you did read you have 48 hours to pay on my auction when you bid right? do you know how to read???????????????????????


- oasiswizard

-------------------------------------------------

Dear oasiswizard,

I'm sorry. I must have missed that. Please just stop being so rude and leave me negative feedback so that I can do the same for you. You're an extremely nasty and completely uncompassionate seller and other buyers should be aware of this. As you can see from my feedback I am an extremely reliable buyer and this is an unusual situation for me.

Happy New Year.


- lovecat713

(addendum)

Dear oasiswizard,

Ha, just noticed you're in Jersey. Jersey attitude - go figure.


- lovecat713

-------------------------------------------------

Dear lovecat713,

go get your G.E.D.


- oasiswizard

-------------------------------------------------

Dear oasiswizard,

I graduated from George Washington University. You?


- lovecat713

-------------------------------------------------

Dear lovecat713,

muahahaha...what is that?one of those online universities lol. i got a mba from rutgers new brunswick,nj so this is whats gona happen. either you pay or i get my listing fee back from e bay and list the bag for 5 buks buy it now but i block you from bidding on my auctions. i really dont care this bag was free for me, u cant win sweety, sorry,happy new yr.
please don't write me back it will go into my garbage folder. :0


- oasiswizard

-------------------------------------------------

Dear oasiswizard,

I understand why you wouldn't have heard of GW - obviously you've never left New Jersey. That would make anyone bitter and angry.

I cannot pay until tomorrow. Please feel free to file an unpaid item complaint. It will give me a week to reply, and by then, I will have paid and you will have wasted your time and energy.

I am not liar enough to say I won't read any further messages you send. And you're way too confrontational not to read anything I send. You obviously have a very sad life and too much time on your hands. I will tell you, however, that I am a smarter and much bigger person than you, and you can hurl as many missives my way as you like, but I will not be replying to you again, because I have better things to do.

Best wishes, and have a happy new year. Getting drunk. Alone. In Jersey. Hahaha.


- lovecat713

A Poll

Who is stupider:

-Lindsay Lohan
-Jude Law for (allegedly) having sex with Lindsay Lohan

Frankly, gonna have to go with Jude Law on this one. He used to be the object of my undying affection, and now I think about his nether bits touching her nether bits and.... ew. Skank City.

why we're friends.

me: extra extra, read all about it!
David: is there a news flash?
me: kate is the best!
David: that's old news!

money, according to david.

David: speaking of boring, the endfest lineup is.
me: oh boo.
who cares.
i like social d and everything but how many times have they played seattle in the last 3 years? 8?
David: including a couple other endfests!
David: i think i will be saving my money again this year.
me: i know.
David: disappointing, cause i likes to spends my money!
me: i wish i didn't.
David: think of it this way: that's what money was made for.
me: what about saving?
David: that makes money sad.
me: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

i am feeling really glum today.

i really hate it here. the weather is terrible and the drivers are terrible and the everything-is-political attitude is terrible.

but i am stuck here unless i can find a way out. which requires money i don't have.

i feel like i am wasting my life. i don't want to be stuck in this hell hole forever.

pretty sure an east coaster stuck in washington state hell designed these.

http://www.autoblog.com/2007/06/12/left-lane-drivers-of-america-want-you-to-move-over-you-know-who/

Thank God for global warming!

Otherwise I might still be wearing a winter coat in June!

Oh wait... I am.

Seattle, feel my hatred.

i'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air...

green street hooligans = new favorite movie. i now want to move to london and join a football firm.

the meanie leanie

sometimes an email from an old friend who understands and loves you can change every single thing.